Author Archives: Gemma


I buried a good friend last week; Brian Magennis. I don’t intend to use this piece as a testimony to the wonderful person he was or to the brilliant leader that he was, (and he was both those and much more). However, I do want to highlight the real benefits for organisations of even one influential leader in your company living a life from the place of connection to their true self, that I write about regularly in my work.

A lot of what I have written about in these blogs and on different LinkedIn posts talks about the power of connection, about the brilliant design of being human and about the wonderful outcomes that can result from bringing our authentic self into our dealings with others. In any business situation or even any situation in life, the greatest chance of a successful outcome lays in the authentic self, turning up for the conversation.

If you take the simple definition of selling that I use in a lot of my work as making a connection with the other human being and seeing how you can help, a definition that can be extended to many aspects of business where influencing and persuading communications are being carried out.  Then fostering deep connections has got to be at the heart of business relationships, fostering deep connections has got to be at the heart of great leadership.  These sorts of deep connections are not possible when the ego is doing the leading.

When we are thinking about the impact of what we do and say, and how it might reflect on us personally, we are less likely to be acting from our authentic self. We are more likely to be appealing to the intellect, and ego, of the people we are speaking with or leading, and therefore not speaking to the whole person. Not connecting from a coherent embodied place within us that is connecting with the body, mind, heart, and soul of whoever it is we are communicating with.

Building soul-to-soul connection is possible in business. It is not something to be ignored in business or relegated to the more spiritual aspects of life. It can be the foundation for transforming an organisation into one where colleagues are fully engaged in delivering the vision and goals of the group.  Where colleagues are fully invested in their work and receiving the well-being and mental health benefits that arise from the strong, meaningful connections built from being led by ‘Whole Person’ leaders.

Brian Magennis was a perfectly, imperfect example of a ‘Whole Person’ leader.  He understood that to deliver the best financial results for a business you had to lead your people from their whole person perspective, body, mind, heart, and soul.  It wasn’t just enough for the people to intellectually get what it was the business was about or what it was their roles were about.  He lived the power of deep connection to others in all his business relationships.

Miss you Brian.

As you read this, I encourage you to reflect on how you show up in your own life and work. Are you leading from a place of connection to your true self? Are you fostering deep, authentic relationships with those around you? These aren’t just ideals – they’re the foundation for creating a thriving business and a fulfilling life.

What if we allowed ourselves to lead like that? What if, in every business interaction, we showed up fully present, seeking to connect and serve rather than simply achieve? True connection transcends ego and intellect – it fosters environments where colleagues thrive, and organisations transform.

In honour of Brian, let’s strive to lead as whole, imperfect, and beautiful human beings.

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Would you look for a book in a bike shop, or a bike in a book shop?  Of course not.

Yet, in business, we often search for solutions in the wrong places – like looking for the bike in a bookstore. For instance, when two colleagues clash, we frequently misidentify the root cause, assuming the problem lies in external circumstances or conflicting agendas. What if the problem was neither of those things, but was instead a difference in perspective or thinking?

Consider the parable of the four blind men describing an elephant. Each holds a different part and offers conflicting descriptions of what an elephant is like. Each account is true as that person sees it, but not an accurate description of an elephant. This illustrates how perspective shapes our understanding of problems, and perspective is always a reflection of our thinking about we are looking at. Instead of focusing solely on the issue at hand as described from one perspective, we should first examine our perceptions or our thinking about the problem.

I recently worked with a client where two directors argued over an unbudgeted investment. One believed it could boost overall margins by 10%, while the other hesitated, arguing that it was unbudgeted and potentially a risk to margin. Through discussion, it became clear that the real concern from the hesitant director was the potential impact on their bonus earnings. Once this was addressed, the opposing director was on board with the investment.
When contention arises, the key is to explore each person’s perspective and thoughts around the problem. To do this requires listening deeply, empathetically and often patiently to allows us to uncover underlying thinking around the topic.

By understanding different viewpoints and the thinking behind these, we can better identify the real issues and thus identify potential solutions. The power of deep listening, in 1-2-1s and especially in meetings, to allow us to seek solutions in the right places, is too often underestimated in business.

Finally, this quote from Helen Schucman seems relevant here;
“All miracles involve a shift in perception.”

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My work with businesses often involves some form of gathering or meeting with groups of workers. The key objective is normally around a specific aspect of individual and/or team development.

The objective, and an outline of how the session will unfold, is normally agreed with either a learning and development person or the line manager/director of the team involved.

Increasingly I have noticed that, after the invite goes out, several requests for “The Agenda” are sent to me or to the organiser.  Why is this I wonder? Is the request made from some anxiety that the person may be embarrassed in not being prepared, (even though any preparation required is normally stated in the invite).  Is it exercising our in-built psychological need for a level of control? Are we sometimes so insecure that we are worried about going into a business meeting or training situation where we don’t know what is going to happen?

I’m not talking about knowing why the meeting/event is happening or indeed the objective behind the meeting. I’m referring to the need we often have to know as much as we can about who will be there, what will they do or say and what the expectations the organiser might have of me. To the extent that the agenda requirement is driven from a place of “how can I add the most value to these proceedings,” then asking for an agenda is coming from the right intention.

Like much of life, navigating our way successfully in business is about dealing with paradox, or dealing with apparently contradictory statements. On the one hand it does seem like sound business logic to have an agenda for every meeting or event we attend, on the other hand, our need for an agenda could be driven from a place of unknown fear about lack of control or appearing vulnerable and all sorts of consequential unhelpful stories that might arise, (consciously or unconsciously), from this thinking.

If the agenda request is coming from a place of “uncertainty,” and “I don’t like uncertainty,” then maybe have are think about why exactly you are asking for an agenda.

What are the invisible rules in your organisation or family?

If you observed the behaviour of you or your colleagues at work or even in your family, what would you say the “rules” are of your organisation or family?  I’m not referring to policies and procedures or even legal rules. I’m referring to the rules you might infer exist, purely from observing behaviours, or maybe in your own case, feelings and/or behaviours.

For some people, there appears to be an unwritten rule that worry precedes any significant event or meeting that you undertake. Think anything from board meeting, sales meetings, to weddings or family events. For some organisations it can appear that a rule exists that no one dare challenge the boss about any decision they might make. It can often appear that a rule exists that decisions must always be passed up the chain of command, even though written policy and even company values might indicate that empowerment and devolved decision making is to be encouraged.

What are the (unwritten) rules we live our lives by?  For example:

  • “Think of what (Insert as appropriate parents, neighbours, boss, family, clients, etc) will say.” This implies a rule of “Therefore I won’t do that, try that, or live my life the way I want to live my life.”
  •  “No pain, no gain.” Implied rule is “All work must be difficult.”
  •  “I deserve to be successful because I work hard.” Implying that “hard work’ is the only factor in achieving success.”
  • “I’m not the sort of person that is lucky in love.” (My success in finding a partner is purely down to luck and has nothing to do with me and my thinking.)
  • “I’m just like my mother, father, brother, sister.” (We use this thinking to explain why I can’t change something I want to change)

From the last couple of examples, the key to understanding unwritten or invisible rules is to recognise that it is our thinking that is creating and maintaining these rules. The longer we live with this thinking, the more familiar it becomes until it seems a hard and ‘stuck-fast’ belief in our life.

Recognise the invisible rule we create that hinder our happiness, changing the thought, changes the rule, changes your life.

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Unplug, Unwind, and Unleash Your Inner Light: Coaching From The Soul – A light hearted conversation

Feeling like your thoughts are on a hamster wheel?  Longing for a deeper connection to yourself and the world around you?

Join us for a light-hearted and interactive talk series, Coaching From The Soul, where we’ll embark on a heartwarming exploration of what it means to be human.

This FREE four-week series features me and my fellow Supercoaches from the prestigious 2024 cohort of the Supercoach Academy with Michael Neill.

Here’s a taste of what awaits you:

  • Episode 1: Taming the Thought Train: Learn to manage your whirlwind of thoughts and discover the power of a focused mind.
  • Episode 2: Unearthing Your Core Self: Reconnect with your authentic self and unlock a wellspring of inner wisdom.
  • Episode 3: Peeking Through the Illusions: See beyond limiting beliefs and create a reality that truly serves you.
  • Episode 4: Living from the Inside Out: Experience life with fresh eyes and newfound joy.

Each 45-minute session promises to be a delightful journey filled with insights, laughter, and practical tools to empower you.

Mark your calendars!

  • Dates: Every Wednesday, beginning 8th May 2024
  • Time: 9:45 PT / 12:45 ET / 17:45 UK

Ready to embark on a transformative adventure?  Click the link below and subscribe to follow 

Coaching From The Soul – A Light-hearted conversation 

P.S. Spread the word! Share this exciting series with your friends and family who might also benefit from a soulful exploration.

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