What Have Been Your Life’s Threshold Moments?

Do you remember any threshold moments in your life?

By threshold moments, I mean those times when we enter a new phase, begin to see life through a different
lens, or find ourselves adapting to new circumstances. Birth and death are perhaps the biggest thresholds,
alongside the births and deaths of those close to us.
But what about the threshold moments in our working lives?

A New Chapter in My Working Life

Becoming a Director in C&C Belfast at 35 was one of mine.
At the time, I felt the satisfaction of reaching a position in
business that was beyond anything I had imagined I could
achieve. Alongside that satisfaction came the pressure of
responsibility: for the success and well-being of colleagues, and
for hitting sales targets that others relied on for their annual
bonus.

Thirty years later, I can look back on that moment as the beginning of a deeper understanding of business,
commerce and what success seemed to mean. It was success viewed through what I would now describe as an
“ego” perspective, or a “first half of life” perspective.

A Different Kind of Threshold

A “second half of life” threshold came when I began to see the truth in the saying:
“We don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.”
Through my coaching training, I have come to understand this through a principle: our experiences of the
world are created from inside us.
I understand this as a principle that is always at work, whether or not we recognise it in the moment.

One of its most significant implications is the idea of “separate realities”. Each of us can interpret the same
facts and circumstances differently because our experience is being created within us.
This helps explain why society needs rules and laws to bring a sense of order, and why businesses need shared
values, processes and standard operating procedures to get things done.
It also offers a helpful way to approach our everyday conversations

Bringing Curiosity into Our Conversations

The next time a heated debate arises with a colleague or friend, pause and
remember the idea of separate realities.
Become curious about how the other person sees the situation.
What does it look like from their perspective?
That curiosity can open the door to more honest communication. When we take time to understand one
another’s experience, we are more likely to find mutual understanding and agree on the next steps.

The Threshold Within

Looking back, there is an important difference between the two threshold moments I have shared.
Becoming a Sales Director was an external threshold: a change in my role, status and responsibilities.
The second was an internal realisation: a change in how I understood my experience of life.
That internal shift has had a far more profound influence on my life and happiness than any external milestone
ever could.
What have been your life’s threshold moments, and which have changed the way you see the
world?