What’s Love Got to Do With It?

It has been a while since I’ve written and shared some of my thoughts. At this stage in my life and business career, I find myself wanting to share more of the experiences I’ve had in business — particularly those that have changed the way I think about success.

For a long time, overwhelm, anxiety and stress seemed to me to be part and parcel of being successful in business and in life. My experiences over the years have challenged that belief and led me to look more deeply at how we approach not only what we do, but who we are while doing it.

To help explore this, I’m going to “borrow and adapt” the ‘Being, Doing and Knowing’ © model of team coaching development, first put forward by Lucy Widdowson and Paul Barbour in their excellent book Building Top Performing Teams.

The “4 Box Grid of Everything”

For me, this has become what I call the “4 box grid of everything.”

Almost every aspect of business — leadership, sales, management, deal-making and more — can find a resonance in how we apply our knowing and doing, our craft if you like, alongside how we are showing up in our thinking and being our truest, authentic selves.

I also believe this 4-box grid can be applied to many aspects of our lives beyond business.

The Way of Doing and Knowing

The Doing and Knowing axis contains many of the skills and areas of knowledge we expect to find in business: commercial acumen, market and competitor knowledge, product or service expertise, interpersonal skills and communication.

It includes questioning, listening, facilitating, presenting and countless other skills. Many excellent books and articles have already been written about these areas, so this isn’t where I want to focus.

Instead, I want to explore the Way of Being.

The Way of Being

For many of us, the Way of Being is less understood because it involves looking more deeply into the nature of being human.

I believe it can hold the key to personal breakthroughs that lessen — and can even remove — some of the overwhelm, anxiety, stress, fear and burnout that happen too often in our lives and businesses.

So, what is the key to moving up the scale on the Way of Being axis?

You’ll notice I think of this as a “Low to Infinity” scale, rather than a “Low to High” scale. There is much more to explore around that idea.

But the key itself is relatively simple: be as true to your authentic self as you can be.

Like many things that are simple — rather than complex — that doesn’t necessarily mean it is easy.

Becoming Our Authentic Selves

It might seem like the most natural thing in the world to simply be ourselves. Yet, from a very young age, we begin to be shaped by the world around us.

Initially, this comes through our parents and families, followed by schools, friends and the various educational, social and sometimes religious institutions we encounter throughout our lives.

By the time we reach adulthood, our sense of who and what we really are can become buried beneath layers of who we believe others think we should be.

So why is it important to see through this programming?

The truth I have come to experience for myself is that I live in my own thought-created reality.

The circumstances of my life, or the business situations I find myself in, enter my awareness through the power of thought — thought that can often be influenced by years of programming.

So, What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Whatever our programming, whatever our upbringing, and whatever we may be thinking about the circumstances of our lives, we all tell ourselves stories that can trigger feelings and emotions.

But underneath all of this lies who and what we truly are, pure love.